When expectations about what life “ought to be” go unmet for extended periods of time, our hearts will want to drift into fantasy. It can happen for several reasons.
Longstanding bouts with tough circumstances occur, such as:
We’ll see some other person’s life and imagine that if we had what they have, then we wouldn’t feel the way we do. If we only lived there, not here, then we would be a different person. If my father would only . . . if my spouse would finally . . . if God would simply . . . then all would be well.
This thinking is bunk. Here’s why.
We are not the victims of life we think we are. We are sinners God has chosen by grace to mold into His image. Think about it:
Because He is God, He has the prerogative to determine what’s best for us— including keeping from us what we really, really want— if He deems it wise.
Fantasy, on the other hand, dwells on lies. With very few exceptions, tough circumstances simply reveal the holes in our hearts, not the holes in our lives. Situations only reveal the areas where we need to grow.
Chasing fantasies only takes us to another dead end in the labyrinth. Our real challenge is a content heart. Wayne Stiles
Though it sounds strange, remember that even Jesus, “although He was a Son . . . learned obedience from the things which He suffered” (Heb. 5: 8). Don’t get sidetracked with the difficult theology embedded in that verse. The bottom line is that if the Son of God learned obedience through suffering—through betrayal, heartache, temptation, and loneliness—why would it be any different for us?
If Jesus, of all people, could not avoid it, we certainly will not.
Even if we were in other circumstances, we’re still just us. That’s the problem. When we chase our fantasy about life somewhere over the rainbow, we discover the yellow brick road only takes us to another dead end in the labyrinth.
We find ourselves still trapped by our real problem—a discontented heart.
The problem isn’t our meager circumstance as much as it is our hearts’ refusal to trust in God’s sovereignty. Two steps can help:
Tell me what you think: How do you deal with fantasy when it comes? To leave a comment, just click here.
This post is adapted from Wayne’s book, Waiting on God: What to Do When God Does Nothing.
• What do you do when the life God has promised you looks nothing like the life he has given you?
• If you find yourself waiting on God—or if you don’t know what God wants you to do next—this book offers a wise and practical guide to finding hope and peace in life’s difficult pauses.
You will discover what to do when it seems God does nothing.