Category Archives: Family

Posts by Wayne Stiles related to family.

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What to Do When It’s Not Really the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Lonely holidays are the times to draw close to God.

The songs play it. The movies portray it. Even our church services have their part to play. “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” Yeah, well what if it isn’t? For many people, holidays bring up painful memories.

(Photo by Photodune)

Sore spots from childhood or the loss of loved ones hit hard during this sentimental season. While many people celebrate the joys of Christmastime, others suffer lonely holidays.

During one of the most desperate times of King David’s life, the anointed future king of Israel found himself running from two separate enemies—hardly a time to celebrate. With the Philistines to the west and King Saul to the east, a distressed David sought refuge in the cave of Adullam (1 Samuel 22:1–2).

David felt very alone.

His situation offers encouragement to us during lonely holidays.

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How to Give Your Child Back to God

Hannah's decision at Shiloh shows us how to prepare.

Giving your child back to God can be a tough decision for parents. Eighteen or more years of sacrifice, commitment, and training suddenly bring you to a point of no return.

How to Give Your Child Back to God

(Photo: Shiloh, where Hannah brought Samuel. Courtesy of the Pictorial Library of Bible Lands)

Whether it is for college, for the military, or in the natural course of growing up, giving your child back to God is a point every parent has to face.

Hannah’s story shows us how to prepare for it, and then, how to do it.

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Chorazin—Sitting in the Seat but Missing the Message

Jesus explains why leadership remains a privilege, not a prerogative.

Leadership in any form is a place of honor because of one reason only. You won’t see that reason in the world’s system where leadership often stands upside down. A small town in Galilee reminds us how to keep it upright. 

Chorazin—Sitting in the Seat but Missing the Message

(Photo: Chorazin’s ruins hide at center left. Courtesy of Pictorial Library of Bible Lands)

From a distance, Chorazin seems like it’s hiding. I don’t blame it for trying. After all, it remains one of the three cities in Galilee that Jesus rebuked for failing to respond to His message. The basalt ruins of Chorazin appear little more than a pile of rocks among so many thousands of others. Clumps of grass and volcanic rock offer a variegated green and gray to the hillside above the Sea of Galilee.

Unless you look carefully, you may not even see the city.

But Jesus saw it. So should we.

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Get the Perspective You Need with 3 Truths

How to watch for the journey as well as the destination.

The Texas Driver’s Handbook has a tip that can help you today. A diagram shows when you sit in a parked car, you have a 180-degree field of vision. Great perspective. But then you start moving.

Get the Perspective You Need with 3 Truths

(Photo courtesy of Unsplash)

Once you get going, your perspective immediately changes:

  • When your car accelerates to 20 M.P.H. that field of vision reduces to 66%.
  • At 40 M.P.H. your visual field shrinks to 20%.
  • At 60 M.P.H. your field of vision remains barely wider than the headlights.

Simply said, the faster you go the less perspective you have. The same holds true for your day today. If you never sit still, you never see the big picture—only the immediate right in front of you.

Here are 3 truths to give you the perspective you need for your journey.

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Being Better than Your Parents is the Wrong Goal

God gives two questions to answer and two courses to follow.

Growing up in a godly home is no guarantee you’ll follow God. You can live better than your parents did. Or you can live worse. It’s true. But it’s also true that a godless home doesn’t doom you to a failed life.

Being Better than Your Parents is the Wrong Goal

(Photo courtesy of Unsplash)

One man told me had as his goal to be a better father than his father was to him. And he did it. But then he realized that wasn’t enough.

Being better than your parents is doable, sure, but it’s the wrong goal.

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Labor Day Mountain Biking—and What Family Requires

Ask me how I know.

Two words that have nothing to do with each other collided with me on Labor Day a few years ago. Consider two completely unrelated terms:

BI·CY·CLE. noun: 1. A vehicle consisting of a light frame mounted on two wire-spoked wheels one behind the other and having a seat, handlebars for steering, brakes, and two pedals.

MOUN·TAIN. noun: 1. A natural elevation of the earth’s surface having considerable mass, generally steep sides, and a height greater than that of a hill.

Labor Day Mountain Biking—and What Family Requires

(Photo: By Zach Dischner. Digging In, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons)

The term, “bicycle,” or “bike,” conjures images of family outings. You know, leisurely rides in the neighborhood or on country roads. Beautiful fall trees, cool breezes, and laughing. The word “mountain,” gives mental pictures of awe and inspiration. Colorado comes to mind. Snowy peaks. “Rocky Mountain High” and cool clean rivers. I want to go there.

But put these words together—mountain bike—and the mood changes altogether. And laughing becomes a wholly different sound.

Ask me how I know.

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Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers

Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers [Book Review] by Leslie Leyland Fields, Jill Hubbard (Thomas Nelson, 2014)

Forgiveness is something we all struggle with. For many of us, the struggle began early.

Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers does an excellent job of connecting with someone whose parents have blown it (which, on some level, is all of us). But more importantly, this helpful volume walks readers through the morass of pain, shows them how to process it through a scriptural filter, and releases them into the freedom of their future made possible by God’s grace in Christ.

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How Your Marriage is Like the Death Star

Your marriage is like the Death Star. Oh, I don’t mean it’s a large instrument of destruction and devastation. It’s something else. See if you can spot it in this clip.

Did you see it? Perhaps this quote by Plato will help:

The life of the nation is the life of the family written large. —Plato

Still stumped? The foundation of a nation is the family, and the foundation of the family is the marriage. If you can destroy marriage, you have begun a chain reaction that will dissolve the family, and eventually, the nation.

The key word is vulnerability.

Here’s how your marriage is like the Death Star—and more importantly, how you can protect it from what makes it vulnerable.

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Why You Can’t Afford to Stay as You Are

A couple of months ago I noticed the “maintenance” light come on in my car. That meant the oil and filter needed changing. I thought, Yeah, I’ll do that soon. Right.

Why You Can’t Afford to Stay as You Are

(Photo by Photodune)

About a month went by and I thought: You know, I need to deal with that. I forgot again. It wasn’t until a couple weeks later I finally got it changed. I put it off because I’m a busy guy—and hey, oil and filters can always wait another day.

But then another warning light went off. This one was serious.

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How to Pray for Your Children and Grandchildren

We all pray for our children. We want them to do well in school, or to get a good job, or to stay healthy. But their greatest need for prayer is their spiritual lives.

The longer I am a parent, the more I see the truth in the Apostle John’s words:

I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth. —3 John 4

How to Pray for Your Children and Grandchildren

(Photo by Photodune)

If our children have a genuine walk with God, they will be better equipped to make wise choices throughout their lives. Our challenge, then, is how to pray for our children in this way.

When our daughters were only toddlers, Cathy and I participated an excellent parenting class that gave us a handout called: “How to Pray for Your Children.” We prayed through this list for years. In fact, as I read through each point today, I can remember specific instances in which God answered the prayers. He is still answering them.

I have edited the list and added some verses to it. I have also made a PDF you can download and print to keep in your Bible or prayer journal.

It’s never too late to begin praying for your children—and your grandchildren.

It is one of the greatest investments you will ever make into their lives.

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